settiai: (Harder To Breathe -- doylesboy)
[personal profile] settiai posting in [community profile] ship_manifesto
Title: What Might Have Been
Author: [livejournal.com profile] settiai
Fandom: Angel
Pairing: Doyle/Cordelia
Spoilers: Entire series, but the only Season Five spoilers are for Cordelia's storyline.
E-mail: settiai@gmail.com
Notes: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] catecumen and [livejournal.com profile] faith_of_borg for going over this essay and telling me to add to it. And then reading it again and telling me to add even more.
Extra Note: I'm not sure why the links stopped working, but I've gone through and fixed them. They should hopefully be working fine now.

“I guess we'll never know if this is a face you could learn to love.” Doyle, Hero


During the first nine episodes of Angel, the viewers were given a glimpse at what -- at first glance -- appeared to be Xander/Cordelia, Version 2.0. Cordelia hadn’t changed much in the two months since Sunnydale, though maybe a little more humble, and Doyle seemed quite a bit like Xander with his tacky clothes and slightly comic disposition. It quickly became apparent, however, that there was much more to the Cordelia Chase of Angel than there was to the one of Buffy… and that Allen Francis Doyle was much more than another Xander Harris.

Half-Demon Hero


When Allen Francis Doyle first appeared in Angel’s apartment during the first episode of Angel, no one knew what to think of the half-demon Irishman. He was the only main character of the new show that hadn’t previously been on Buffy, and -- unlike the other characters -- his past was an open slate. Pretty much all that was known about him at first was that he was undoubtedly Irish and that he had a fondness for liquor and gambling… not to mention that he received mind-numbing visions from the Powers That Be for some reason that had to do with his past.

As the episodes went by, he became less of an enigma and more of a beloved character. Little glimpses of his past were given out, revealing details that no one could have expected, and the audience learned about his past at the same time that Angel and Cordelia did.

Doyle’s father was a Brachen demon, but Doyle didn’t know that until his twenty-first birthday. Needless to say, both he and his wife freaked out when they discovered that aspect of his past. After some time had passed, she learned to accept the fact; however, he never did. They separated not long afterward, setting Doyle on the path that would eventually lead him to his new life in Los Angeles.

Former Sunnydale Queen


If you want a much more detailed look at Cordelia’s pre-Angel days, then you should go read [livejournal.com profile] britfacexx’s Xander/Cordelia essay. She does a terrific job of explaining what happened during those three years, and quite a bit of what makes Cordelia the person she is during Angel is what happened in Sunnydale -- including her relationship with Xander Harris.

Anyway, getting back to the topic on hand…

During the first three seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Cordelia Chase went from being the spoiled rich girl who hated the Scoobies to being the spoiled rich girl who sort-of liked the Scoobies because she was dating one of them to being the spoiled rich girl who hated the Scoobies but still helped them save the world for some odd reason.

And then she had to grow up.

A few months before graduation, her parents lost all of their money because of tax fraud. Until then, she had planned on leaving Sunnydale and attending college as far away from the Hellmouth and her past life as possible. Almost instantly, however, her dreams were shattered. Instead of going off to college after the fiasco that was Sunnydale High’s 1999 graduation, she made her way to Los Angeles to bring to life her dreams of stardom.

When she arrived in Los Angeles, it was nothing like expected. She found herself living in a run-down apartment without even enough money to buy food, and she was literally on her last leg when she ran into an old face from Sunnydale… Angel, the vampire with a soul. After Angel saved her life, Cordelia quickly joined with him and Doyle -- thus becoming the final member of the original Angel Investigations team.

Over the course of Angel’s first nine episodes, Cordelia took the first step on the road that would lead her away from her childhood and into the adult world. She moved into the apartment that she would call home for the next three years, discovered friends who would be willing to die for her… and found herself facing an adult relationship, one that went beyond the pure passion (and groping in the high school’s broom closet) that’s often found in a first love.

The Canon


“You think she’s a hottie.”
“Yeah, she’s a stiffener alright, I can’t lie about that.”


From the very beginning, it wasn’t a secret that Doyle was attracted to Cordelia… even though she was barely more than jailbait. Whenever they were together, he always found the time to throw an innuendo or two her way, but for the most part she ignored him. They slowly became friends as the time went by, and it soon became obvious that they really did care for each other -- even if it wasn’t in a romantic way.

“Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?”
“No, never.”


As the episodes went by, it quickly became apparent that Doyle had fallen for Cordelia. The above exchange took place during the fifth episode, Rm w/a Vu, when Doyle was helping her find a new apartment. The place she had been living for the past several months had finally pushed her beyond the breaking point, and she was willing to try anything to find somewhere else to live… even letting Doyle find her an apartment through “some guy” he knew.

The apartment that he found her was gorgeous, and she starts gushing about it the moment she walks in the door. When Doyle agrees with her, however, his eyes aren’t on the apartment… they’re focused entirely on her. A few minutes later, after she decides to take the apartment, she gives Doyle a huge hug and announces “I love your guy!” When that happens, the completely head-over-heels expression on his face is priceless -- but, as usual, Cordelia seems oblivious.

“Maybe Doyle does have - hidden depths.”

In the seventh episode, The Bachelor Party, the viewers received the first glimpse that it might be more than just a one-sided infatuation. When Doyle saved Cordelia, putting his own life at risk, she finally seemed to notice him as more than just a friend. She even prepared to ask him out for coffee… but then his soon-to-be ex-wife showed up, which is another essay in itself.

“You'll get through this, Doyle. Nice guys don't always finish last.”
“You think I'm a nice guy?”
“I think it, I say it. That's my way.”


Later on in the same episode, after Harry -- Doyle’s ex -- has left just as abruptly as she came, he’s moping on the sofa. Cordelia goes in, and the following exchange takes place while she’s trying to cheer him up. After she finishes speaking though, she flashes him a tiny smile that shows just how serious she’s being. He’s someone that she cares about, and she wants to make sure he realizes that.

“I guess we'll never know if this is a face you could learn to love.”

In episode nine, Hero, everything that had been established on Angel suddenly disappears in a heartbeat. When a group of Nazi-like demons make their way to Los Angeles, bent on destroying humanity with a device known as the Beacon, the way only way to stop them is for either Angel or Doyle to make the ultimate sacrifice. Since it couldn’t be Angel, for obvious reason, Doyle is the one who makes the leap -- but only after he kisses Cordelia, unknowingly transferring his visions to her, and lets her know that there might have been the possibility of so much more between them. When he turns to jump, there is an absolutely heartbroken expression on her face.

Hero ends with Angel and Cordelia sitting in their office, watching a video of Doyle that was made at the beginning of the episode. Over the rest of the first season, he’s rarely even mentioned; however, that’s because it’s obvious that the memory of his death still brings quite a bit of pain to those who knew him. During the second season, he’s only mentioned a few times in passing -- usually more in reference to the visions than anything else. Then came Birthday

“You mean - Doyle gave me the visions because - he loved me?”

By the third season, the visions that Doyle passed on to Cordelia were killing her. She was given the choice to give them up and live a normal life or to become part-demon herself in order to keep them. While making her decision, she was shown a few glimpses of her past… including the moment when she received the visions. She then learns that she was never supposed to have the visions, and the only reason that she got them was because no one realized how powerful Doyle’s feelings for her were.

“The first soldier down.”

During the fourth season, everyone’s lives went to hell and back again, so let’s skip ahead to the fifth season -- or, more precisely, Cordelia’s last episode: You’re Welcome. Midway through the episode, Angel walks in and finds her watching the video of Doyle. For the first, and last, time since Hero, the original three members of Angel Investigations are together once again -- and it’s obvious from the wistful expression on Cordelia’s face that she at least partially wishes that she could turn back time and go back to those simpler days.

What Might Have Been


One of the driving points of Doyle/Cordelia fanfiction, most of which is AU for obvious reasons, is the fact that there are so many questions about “what might have happened?” If the character of Doyle hadn’t been killed, what might have happened between the two of them?

Would they have remained nothing more than friends? Would they have had an on-again/off-again relationship for the next three seasons? Would they have become lovers? Would it have been revealed that they were twins who had been separated at birth in order to protect them from their father… Wait. Wrong fandom. Though, with Joss Whedon, anything’s a possibility.

Another aspect of the Doyle/Cordelia relationship that should be considered is that fact that, even though both are deceased in canon, death has never really been that important in Jossverse. What if Doyle was brought back to life sometime after Hero? What if there were together in some sort of afterlife, waiting for their friends to join them? What if they’re ghosts, watching over the still-living heroes of the world?

There are tons of possibilities out there that are just waiting to be explored.

But… Why?


When I first started watching Angel, the series was already into its third season. Because of that, all that I knew about the early episodes was what I could find from reading online summaries and scripts. Just by reading those, however, I fell in love with Doyle/Cordelia -- even before I knew what Doyle looked like. One of my online friends sent me some grainy copies of the episodes on VHS, but it wasn’t until the first season was released on DVD that I finally got to see them in their full glory… and once I did, there was no turning back.

Doyle/Cordelia is an adult relationship, and it's not all fairytales and roses like with a first love. Sometimes it works out, and sometimes it doesn't... but both people involved learn and grow from the experience. It's a second love, or even a third love, where both parties know what to expect but are still swept away in its course.

Plus, it's cute and fluffy a lot of the time. ;-)

There’s so much more to say about the Doyle/Cordelia pairing, but I’m really not sure how to say any of it. To be honest, I’ve spent the last week completely panicking over writing this -- especially after going back and rereading some of earlier essays. I only hope that this at least gives you a glimpse of what we see in this ‘ship… and that it possibly converts a few more people to the fold.

Links


Fanlistings

We’ll Never Know: the Doyle/Cordelia fanlisting

Fanzines

Deoir Fola: A Drop of Blood: Doyle-centric, features several Doyle/Cordelia stories

Stories

I’ve tried to include a few examples of the major types of Doyle/Cordelia stories. If you’d like more recs, just let me know. I’ll be glad to share some more of my favorites.

Close to Home… So Far Away (PG, Gabrielle Lawson)
No one in L.A. can see him, hear him, or touch him... but is Doyle a ghost, or something entirely different? [AU]

Fixer-Upper: (PG, Mireille)
Cordelia's learned her lesson about fixer-uppers. [canon]

Impact: (PG-13, silver)
With the birth of Darla's baby fast approaching, Cordelia interferes with an attempt on Angel's life, but the consequences of her actions send her back to 1999... mere days before Doyle is to die on the Quintessa. [time-travel]

It’s a Pretty Good Life: (PG, Hathaway)
Before the final battle, they have twenty-four hours to enjoy life to the fullest. [AU]

Reception: (G, nwhepcat)
When it’s all said and done, he’s there waiting for her. [afterlife]

Substitute Teacher: (PG-13, by Roseveare)
During the third season of Buffy, the Scooby Gang suspects a new teacher at Sunnydale High may be a demon. [AU]

Virtual Series

Angel: Changes in Seasons: Even though I’m the producer of this series, I still felt that it should be mentioned here. There are some extremely talented authors (such as [livejournal.com profile] bethos, [livejournal.com profile] mouse42, [livejournal.com profile] wesleysgirl, and [livejournal.com profile] wolfing) working on it, and it’s definitely something that would be of interest to Doyle/Cordelia fans. The basic premise of the series is that after the Season Four finale, Cordelia was given the chance to change one event in her recent past -- and she chooses to save Doyle’s life.

Angel: the Cyber Series: This is one of the oldest Angel virtual series that I know of, and -- though it hasn’t been updated in years -- the few episodes that are up are well worth the read. It’s premise is “Doyle didn’t die,” but it goes off in a fairly different direction than the aforementioned series. It has both slash and gen versions of every episode, and the Gen Season contains quite a bit of Doyle/Cordelia.

Websites

Unfortunately, most of the Doyle/Cordelia websites have died over the years. There are only a few left now, and the majority of them are technically focused on just one character rather than both of them as a ‘ship even though they host D/C fanfiction.

A Demon’s Heart
Doyle/Cordelia Fanfiction: A-L
Doyle/Cordelia Fanfiction: M-Z
Grimoire
Hidden Depths
More Than Meets the Eye
Oblivious Much?

Date: 2005-03-27 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] laurelin-kit.livejournal.com
Ooooh, yay! I've been waiting for this ever since you started talking about writing it.

Very good. I've always had a soft spot for Doyle/Cordelia. I like how this talks about their relationship even after his death and how he still affects Cordy. Great essay!

Date: 2005-03-27 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spikendru.livejournal.com
I'd often thought that it was a shame that the Doyle/Cordelia story ended just as it was beginning. I can definitely see the possibilities in the relationship, and think they would have been very good for each other. Plus, pre-S4 Cordy was my very favorite character on Angel, so I was thrilled to have her back in You're Welcome. But now, I picture Cordy and Doyle, off in another dimension somewhere, putting their feet up and catching up on all the time they missed. . .

Date: 2005-03-28 11:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spikendru.livejournal.com
You're quite welcome for the feedback. I did two essays for [livejournal.com profile] idol_reflection and I know how much time and thought goes into them. It's just nice to know people have read them and appreciated your work. Also, had to mention that "The Last Time I Saw Wiliam" is one of my very favorite vids. It's wonderful!

Date: 2005-03-27 05:48 am (UTC)
inalasahl: (plot bunny)
From: [personal profile] inalasahl
Great essay, it makes me want to go pull out my season one DVDs and watch them, right now! I can't wait to dig into the recs you've listed.

Date: 2005-03-27 08:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] turnpike.livejournal.com
i actually stopped watching angel after doyle died, he was my favorite character and i had really hoped to see a doyle/cordelia relationship develop. thanks for the lovely manifesto, and the recs. :D

Date: 2005-03-27 10:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/cecilialisbon_/
I loved Doyle/Cordelia and his death definitely put me off Angel. Great summary; I really enjoyed reading it!

Date: 2005-03-27 11:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paratti.livejournal.com
Lovely essay for a wonderful couple.

Date: 2005-03-27 03:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadbhyl.livejournal.com
Well done! I always loved this ship on the show. It was so romantic but so unsentimentalized. You did an excellent job of capturing everything I loved about the two of them. Thanks for writing this!

Date: 2005-03-27 04:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tarie.livejournal.com
Thank you for this. I was SUCH a Doyle/Cordelia shipper.

Date: 2005-03-27 04:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] crystalpuff.livejournal.com
I, too, loved this ship, and I was devastated when Doyle died. What a wonderful essay about them and what could have been. Thank you!

Date: 2005-03-27 09:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lilian413.livejournal.com
Beautiful essay. Doyle and Cordelia were the couple that should've been a couple but never really were-- I also thanked the Doyle references in You're Welcome: it seemed so long had gone by and they had never really talked about it. To have Doyle "come back", even in VHS form, had me with tears in my eyes.

Bravo for writing this lovely recount of their story together!

Date: 2005-03-28 08:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dawnie1970.livejournal.com
This is great! Doyle/Cordelia is my 2nd favorite Whedonverse ship. So meant to be. Really excellent points made!

Date: 2005-03-28 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] apostrophet.livejournal.com
What a great essay. You've inspired me to go watch my Season 1 DVDs again. :)

Date: 2005-03-31 08:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] seersha.livejournal.com
I love Doyle/Cordelia. One of my favourite AtS pairings. This was a great essay, thank you for sharing! And for the links... yay!

Date: 2005-04-08 07:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pathstotread.livejournal.com
This has always been one of my favorite pairings, hands down. Wonderful essay, and thanks for all the links!

Date: 2005-04-10 09:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] w00tiful.livejournal.com
Oh man, ever since they started re-showing the old episodes on whatever channel they show them on I have rediscovered my old love for Doyle/Cordelia. And Doyle in general. Man, but this one gets to me.

Love it. Love you. <3

Date: 2005-04-28 04:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abstract-verses.livejournal.com
Beautiful essay. I never fail to tear up when Hero comes on or in You're Welcome. Even though I was broken up when Doyle died, I'm glad they made him go out a hero. This isn't a Doyle/Cordelia moment but another time that struck me how much I missed him wasn't long after his death in S1 and Angel calls, I think it was Wesley, Doyle by accident and catches himself. I just love how Doyle's memory carries on in the show and in these characters long after his death and what is the most amazing is that he was only in 9 out of some 110 episodes (excluding references and the video in S5) and yet he's a majorly loved character. Beautiful job again.

aha!

Date: 2007-05-01 04:49 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shinysilvergrl.livejournal.com
I realize this is two years later than the last reply, but I just found the shipper's manifesto, and Doyle / Cordelia happened to be the first ship that I investigated. Lo and behold, you've got one of my fics recommended ("Impact")! I'm honoured. :) I love the essay, and will always support what might've been with this ship!

-sil

Date: 2009-02-07 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jewel21.livejournal.com
*sniffs*

Man, Doyle is still my favorite character on Angel. I'd have loved to see how his relationship with Cordelia would have progressed. I'm off to read some of your Doyle/Cordy stuff but I must ask, will we ever see a new episode of 'Changes-In-Seasons?' I've been following that for years and I'd love to see an update.

Anyway, I'm off to read Glass Slipper!

Date: 2009-12-26 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] looneymoon.livejournal.com
awww I just had to comment on this because this is my favourite of Cordelia's pairings. Angel/Cordy never sat well with me. Xander/Cordy I loved for it's entertaining value and the sweet moments it offered once in a while but lacked some of the sentimental stuff. Cordy/Groo... well, cute but boring.

It was so shocking and sad when Doyle died. I got in late and knew he would, but never thought it'd be so early! I think he and Cordy could have probably been the "married couple" of the show - constantly bickering but always retaining their solidarity.

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