I liked this essay for its insights and depth. I can agree with most of it, and the deleted scene "An Ax to Grind" was especially interesting to watch, and I wouldn't have minded if something like that had been included in the movie.
However, I don't think Astrid will "wear the pants" in this relationship, at least I hope it is not going to be that way. Male leadership is not a matter of who is physically stronger or more intimidating or assertive. It is a matter of ontological necessity and natural order, disregarding it is a terrible mistake.

That is why I liked the scene where Astrid first wanted to tell everyone about the dragons and their nest. Hiccup stood firm and Astrid accepted this decision without further argument. That's a very good start, though Hiccup still has much to learn.